30 Things I want to Accomplish in My 30’s

I will be turning 28 next March so I’ve got a little while but I wanted to start thinking and talking about what I’m going to do in my next decade of life. Some of these are exciting and should be very fun. Some of these are very ‘adult’ and necessary in my eyes.

  1. I want to graduate college with my Master’s degree.
  2. I want to travel more, preferably to a few different countries.
  3. I want to start planning for my retirement, 401k and all that shit.
  4. I want to become a better wife.
  5. I want to dedicate time every day to working out.
  6. I want to learn to really love myself.
  7. I want to make an effort to read at least 12 books a year.
  8. I want to become an expert in something.
  9. I want to kick a bad habit.
  10. I want to take a legit girls trip.
  11. I want to have a garden and grow my own vegetables.
  12. I want to buy a home.
  13. I want to learn how to do my makeup.
  14. I want to learn how to curl my hair.
  15. I want to be on a podcast or have my own podcast.
  16. I want to have the job of my dreams or be on my way to getting said job.
  17. I want to conquer a fear of mine.
  18. I want to meet one of my role models.
  19. I want to start trusting my intuition.
  20. I want to go horseback riding on the beach.
  21. I want to learn how to communicate better.
  22. I want to go to a Steelers game in Pittsburgh.
  23. I want to purchase myself a ring from Tiffany’s.
  24. I want to start a college savings program for our boys.
  25. I want to be more optimistic.
  26. I want to become less judgemental.
  27. I want to learn how to budget money.
  28. I want to make more of an effort with my family, my brother in particular.
  29. I want to become a better parent.
  30. I want to learn how to control my emotions better.

Happy First Day Back to School!

I have the sweetest and funniest mom ever! For any of you that don’t already know, she sends Cash and Tate letters regularly. We talked on the phone today and she let me know that she was sending Cash a card congratulating him on his first week of school.

For any of you that don’t already know, she sends Cash and Tate letters and packages regularly because Cash loves getting mail that is just for him. Anyway, my mom and I talked on the phone and she let me know that she was sending Cash a card congratulating him on his first week of school.

She was in a rush and just grabbed a blank card because they didn’t have any ‘first day of school’ cards. However, she grabbed a card with a margarita on the front of it. Sweet little Cash gets his first margarita at the age of 4 from grandma Shelly. AHAHAHAH

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Good Parenting

Good Parenting

What constitutes being a good mother? Or parent in general?

This question is asked by most mothers, fathers, and guardians. I hear so many different opinions regarding the subject that it’s hard to determine which is actually the correct one.

I was told a few weeks back that it is my “job” to be with my kids. It was my responsibility to not work and raise my children. It was my choice to have children and it was my responsibility to raise them. I was told we, as women, can not have kids and a career, you must choose between the two. I was told you are supposed to suffer and give up your entire life for 18 years for your children.

And to all of these ideas; I say you are wrong.

For your children to grow up as happy, healthy, independent, and intelligent adults we as parents need to be happy, healthy, independent, and intelligent adults. We as parents need to model these behaviors in order to teach our children how to become active participants in society.

I go to school full time, my husband works full time and we are raising two kind hearted and intelligent boys. I see nothing wrong with having a nanny while I am in class a few hours every week. On top of our nanny, we use Kids World 3 to 4 hours a day, every day. You may say I am not a good mother because I don’t spend endless hours with my children but I strongly disagree. I am a happier person since I’ve started going to school and using Kids World. Me being happier makes me a better wife, mother, and friend. On top of that my children are being exposed to different people and having to listen to adults other than my husband and me. Not only are they having to follow directions and rules from someone else they are learning how to function without me there.

They are learning how to make friends without me there holding their hands. They are learning how to deal with problems without running to mommy. They are learning how to navigate friendships and bullies. They are learning how to stand up for each other and their friends.

These are life lessons I can not teach them alone and I am so thankful for our nanny, Janai, all the wonderful teachers at Kids World, the cute friends my boys are making, and our amazing friends who are helping raise our boys into respectable men.

And so, to this person who felt it necessary to condemn how I am living my life and raising my children I ask you to look at yourself, your family, and your own happiness. Ask yourself if you are happy. Ask yourself if your children will remember their childhood with a happy and loving mother. Ask yourself if you truly believe your kids’ happiness should come before your own. Ask yourself if you are truly happy with the life you are living. Ask yourself if you had a chance to do it all over again, would you?

I don’t know your answers to these questions and I honestly don’t care. I simply ask you to take a look in the mirror before you pass judgment on anyone else.

You Know You’re From Utah When…

You Know You’re From Utah When…

I got inspired by a friend of mine to write a blog post all about Utah. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the down right hilarious sides of it. If you aren’t from Utah enjoy reading about the wonderful and crazy things that go on there. And if you are from Utah, I hope you find this as fun as I did!

Thank you to all my Utah friends that helped me write this! You’re all amazing.

 

  • Everything is closed on Sunday.
  • And if you’ve moved away you vow to never live in Utah again.
  • You plan your alcohol runs around holidays and Sundays. And you make damn sure you get there before the liquor store closes.
    state liquor store
  • You know what a molly-Mormon is.
  • You know what “real” mountains look like.
  • You get lost without said mountains as your guide.
    mt
  • People assume you’re Mormon.
  • You hear the words sluff, biff, fetch, flip, eff, fetcher, and heck and know exactly what they mean.
  • You know the “Holy War” isn’t about the crusades.
  • Everyone with a camera is a “photographer”
  • You are an avid Jazz fan.
  • You are pissed as hell at Gordon Hayward.
  • The smell of dog food means there’s a west wind. (For all my Ogden friends)
  • You know what fry sauce is. And you automatically ask for mayonnaise with your ketchup in every other state.
  • You know what the “slots” are in Utah.
  • When you are under 20 at least 5 of your closest friends are married.
  • You gladly drink 3.2 beer because you don’t know any better.
  • You have learned all the weird liquor laws.
  • Funeral potatoes are your favorite!
  • Modest is hottest!
  • You’ve gone on a date to see the lights at Temple Square.
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  • Coffee isn’t the highest sold drink at Starbucks.
  • Day dates before dances are as big or bigger than the actual dance.
  • You love the DI! Either because you get some awesome stuff there or you can easily unload a ton of shit there. And you actually know what the DI is.
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  • Driving in the snow is no big deal.
  • You have driven to WY to get illegal fireworks and Four Loko.
  • You can experience all 4 seasons in just a few days and in the middle of summer.
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  • You celebrate holidays like Halloween and the 4th of July on Saturday if they land on Sunday.
  • You either have an interesting way of swearing or you know what they mean when they say those interesting words.
  • You aren’t sure if there are more Mormon churches or Mavericks.
  • Separation of church and state… What is that?
  • You are either in the Mormon club or you are an outcast.
  • When you go out of town and they learn you are from Utah the first question you get is either if you are Mormon and/or how many moms you have.
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  • You know your state has an extremely high opioid epidemic in the country. Along with the highest national rate of teen suicide and a high national rate for anti depressants.
  • You’ve been cliff jumping.
  • You know the Great Salt Lake is really just a stinky gross vast expanse of land filled with a shit ton of salt and very little water.
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  • You know all about green jello.
  • You NEVER got a snow day. I mean literally never in your life have you had a snow day!
  • You are used to the endless road construction.
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  • You know how to correctly pronounce Weber and Webber.
  • You know so many different versions of swear words it’s a bit embarrassing.
  • You know what a “Utah Scone” is and you absolutely love them and miss them when you move.
    Scones
  • You wear a t-shirt under a spaghetti strap/dress
  • You measure travel in TIME, not DISTANCE…
  • You try and be extra creative when naming your children. Add in a few useless letters, it’s fine!
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  • You do not pronounce your T’s when you say words like mountain, hunting, Layton, etc. but you vehemently deny having a “Utah accent.” Think “mou’ns”  and “Lay’un.”
  • Tooele is pronounced “Too-will-a”, Hooper is pronounced “Hupper”, Hurricane is pronounced “Hur-i-can” (with a short “i”). Egg is pronounced “aigg”, Mirror is pronounced “Mir.” Drawer is pronounced “Drar.” Milk is pronounced “Melk.”
  • You have your wedding dress or prom dress altered to add sleeves.
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  • If you have tattoos or any form of body modification you know you will be judged and get dirty looks.
  • When you move to a new area and neighbors find out you don’t go to church, better believe the missionaries will show up.
  • You know that when you get to the airport or fly home there will most definitely be a large group of people with balloons and signs welcoming home a missionary, without fail.
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  • You have so many friends who are part of pyramid schemes like It Works, Avon, Doterra, Perfectly Posh, Scentsy, etc. and you secretly hate them all.
  • “Your poop hole is considered a loop hole” rule to stay a virgin.
  • The 24th of July is a bigger event than the 4th of July.
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  • You know what a Mormon assault vehicle is.
  • Are my friends and I the only ones that think some of the original settlers’ descendants all look alike (in breeders).
  • You know what “Jesus Jammies” are.
  • You have had the Utah poof or you dated a Utah poof girl.
    utah hair

 

 

Happiness

Happiness

As many of you know I am in school and one of my classes this semester is “Psychology of Modern Life.” I read an article by Arnold Lazarus and Allen Fay titles Unhappiness Is Self-Created and it made me think of my dad and how often he tried to teach me this very lesson. Once again, you were right, dad. ❤

The gist of this article focuses around the old saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” The way Lazarus and Fay explain it is very simple. The way Lazarus and Fay explain it is very simple. As children, we are taught this saying about sticks and stones but we don’t take is seriously as adults. When something upsets us we say “His remark upset me!” “It made me unhappy when he left.” “He made me angry.” We are putting the blame on someone else when in reality we should be saying “I hurt myself over his remark.” “I made myself upset when he left.” and “I allowed myself to get angry when he acted in such a way.” As long as we incorrectly blame outside sources for our unhappiness we will never be able to do anything about them.

The first step to remedying this habit is to ask “How exactly am I upsetting myself?” If the answer to that question contains a lot of negative self-statements, challenge each one of them. You will hit a point where you realize the control resides in your head and not in external forces.

The second way to help change your behavior is to talk to your friends, family, and coworkers about the relationship between external events and people’s reactions to those events. Teaching/talking is a great way to learn something yourself and put it into action.

And last but not least, whenever you catch yourself falsely attributing your own feelings to external events, write it down. Keep a record of it in a notebook or in your phone; somewhere easily accessible. And make the notation as soon as possible so you don’t forget it! Then the following day, give yourself a few minutes to reflect on the times you wrote down the previous day. Correct the faulty reasoning and move on.

Mind you there are always exceptions to this rule. For example; if your sister, mother, brother, daughter, friend, etc. were to be raped or intentionally hurt you should be upset and stand up for those injustices. It’s how you stand up for the victim that can cause you problems, but that is another topic entirely.

 

 

Nomination

I got tagged/nominated to participate in a fun little blog questionnaire thing. This is the first time this has happened to me and I’m pretty excited about it. She tagged me 5 days ago but we’ve been so busy with the 4th of July and school that I am just getting to it. 😦 Sorry about that. Anyway, Bexer’s Blog is a fun read that I enjoy checking in on weekly and reading what she and her family are up to. She is a strong mama who puts her family first, and that’s always a good thing in my book! So thank you for the tag!

Here are the questions she wanted her nominees to answer:

  1. What made you start your blog? (Totally stole that one, but it’s ok because so did she)
    I wanted a place where I could be completely honest about what was going on with my postpartum, children, and life. I wanted somewhere I could potentially connect with other women who were struggling with similar issues or who had struggled with similar issues. I also wanted a place I could be 100% myself. 🙂
  2. If you could re-live one day but not change it in any way which one would it be?
    The day(s) I gave birth to both my boys. Those were the most incredible days of my life. I know it says one day but I can’t pick one over the other, they were both so special in their own ways.
  3. How long have you been friends with your oldest friend?
    Courtney Murakami and I have been friends since we were 3 years old and met at preschool. Terri (Shupe) Smith and I have also been friends since we were about that age. Our families knew each other before we were born but are you really friends with someone before around 3 years old? Unfortunately, both women live in Utah still and we haven’t been the best at keeping up with each other.
  4. Do you like psychological thriller type movies?
    I love these types of movies! I especially like movies or shows about serial killers or crime. They are my guilty pleasure.
  5. If you could only eat one food for a week what would it be?
    This one is really hard. I would probably have to say mashed potatoes, but only if I made them.
  6. What is your favorite number? Is there a reason that it’s your favorite?
    My favorite number is 4. My two favorite holidays are on the 4th of their respective months; my birthday in March and the 4th of July.
  7. Did you ever get to name a childhood pet?
    No, never. My mom was not big on pets but the few we did have were named by my parents and our cat was named by my little brother.
  8. Have you ever been skydiving?
    No, and I have no intention of ever going. It would give me way too much anxiety. I just don’t think it’s worth it. ahahaha
  9. Have you read the Harry Potter series?
    YES!!! If you haven’t I’m not sure if we are really even friends. ahaha
  10. Have you ever seen the sunrise at the beach?
    I have seen the sunrise at a beach a handful of times. The most recent time was when I was visiting my soon to be husband in San Francisco. I had really bad anxiety about leaving Cash in Utah and so we got up early and went for a walk down to the pier and watched the sunrise over the bay.
  11. Who is your favorite author or what is your favorite book?
    This one is really hard for me. I love to read and can never pick just one. I don’t have a favorite author but the book I really fell in love with recently is called “The Knightengale” by Kristin Hannah.

 

My questions are:

  1. What made you start your blog? (Totally stole that one, but it’s ok because so did the two bloggers before me)
  2. What is your drink of choice?
  3. Who is your favorite musician/artist/group/band?
  4. What song to you listen to when you want to get pumped up?
  5. Have you ever traveled to another continent?
  6. If you could travel anywhere where would you go and why?
  7. If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?
  8. What is your favorite pastime and why?
  9. Do you prefer Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter?
  10. What is your most prized possession? (I also stole this one because I thought it was an awesome question.)

My nominees are:

Queerly Texan 

The ShittyHousewife 

BeautyBeyondBones

Chicmom2016

DarleneDee

Abbeycoseattle

Gentlemen’s Foundry

Loveonastick

J.A. Allen

ThisLittleMom

And don’t worry if you don’t want to participate. I’m tagging you because I truly do enjoy reading your blogs!