Finals Week is Officially Over!

I’m sorry I’ve been so MIA this week. This was finals week and Tyson has been gone for work since Sunday afternoon. Which means I have been studying, stressing, and taking tests the past couple of days on my own. The great news is it’s all over! Pray for me that I get all A’s again this semester. I am stressing out about it and want nothing more than to continue my 4.0. And the worst part is I won’t know until next week sometime.

Tyson is always telling me how if I did my best that’s all I can do and I should be proud of what I’ve done…. That sounds great and all but I really do want to get A’s. I feel like I’ve worked my butt off and want to make sure I can get into Berkley next fall. A girl can dream, right?

Anyway, Tyson doesn’t get home until late Wednesday night, has to work on Thursday and then on Friday we are going to Bottle Rock to see Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. I am so damn excited! My dad and Nikki will be here on Saturday and are staying for a whole week!

It’s going to be so nice to get a small break from the kids while they are here. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. I do love my kids, but it’s hard not having any family here to give us a small break every now and then. We are going to be spending time at the pool, drinking, hanging out with friends, and tyson and I are actually going to have our first night away from both the boys.

We are going to be spending time at the pool, drinking, hanging out with friends, and packing up our house to get ready to move. To top it all off Tyson and I are actually going to have our first night away from both the boys. Which I am so extremely excited for! I booked us a hotel room in the city, we are going to dinner, and we are just going to enjoy being adults with no children. I have every intention of sleeping in, undisturbed and I can not wait! That’s how you know I’m a mom, I am looking forward to sleep on a romantic night away with my husband. Ahahahaha

Sharing is Caring

Anyone on facebook that has a handful of mom friends has most likely seen the post about children not being required to share their toys. The gist of the post is that this mother does not require her child to share, her child can tell other children “No.”

I have always been against this and make Cash share whenever we are with other people and we make him share with his brother. Tyson’s motto is “We share with everyone.” But I’m starting to think maybe we are the ones getting it wrong.

The reason I feel this way is because of an incident that happened at the pool earlier this afternoon. Cash had brought toys for him and Tate to play with and did a great job sharing with all the kids at the pool. 3 new kids showed up and it all went downhill. The older boy was maybe 6 or 7 and the two girls were roughly Cash’s age, maybe a little younger.

The older boy took all of Cash’s toys and wouldn’t let Cash play with them. Keep in mind Cash brought toys to the pool today to split between him and Tate. Cash kept asking if the older boy would share his own toys but the older boy kept responding with “But you play with these all the time” or “Why are you following me?” Cash kept coming up to me crying because the boy wouldn’t share and was being ‘naughty.’

I asked the boy twice to share with Cash and let him know that some of those toys were brand new and some of them were for his little brother. He never listened. So I got in the pool and took them away from this older boy.

Now you may think I was being a bitch but Cash literally had nothing to play with because Tate had 2 toys and this older boy had the rest. Mind you, his parents and grandma were sitting right there while all of this was happening but they were too busy chit chatting in Spanish to pay attention to what was going on.

This specific situation has made me want to rethink making Cash share his toys. I think there should be a happy medium. He should share with his brother and friends when he brings things to their house, but if we are going to the pool or the park and he packs toys for him and his brother he shouldn’t have to share if he doesn’t want to.

I like the analogy the post makes about eating sandwiches. She says “If I, an adult walked into a park eating a sandwich, am I required to share my sandwich with strangers in the park? No! Would any well-mannered adult, a stranger, reach out to help themselves to my sandwich, and get huffy if I pulled it away? No again.”

I will say I am not a huge fan of some of her comments in this post though. She does say “The next time your snowflake runs to you, upset that another child isn’t sharing, please remember that we don’t live in a world where it’s conducive to give up everything you have to anyone just because they said so……”

I hope she is coming from a good place when she says this but I am technically one of those “snowflakes” and I don’t expect shit from anyone. I know I have to work for what I want. My husband works for what he wants. My kids will eventually have to work for what they want.

I better stop before I go off on some random tangent about “snowflakes” and politics.

Anyway, moral of the story is, I wish there was a happy medium for sharing and not sharing when it came to our children. Today was clearly a point when Cash shouldn’t have to share with this boy.

Here is the original post if you want to read it in its entirety.

My Tribe

Everyone says it takes a village to raise a child and I’m sure that’s true, but we don’t have that village. We don’t have any close family here in the Bay Area and have only recently started making friends with kids.

However, I will say the friends we have made so far have been such a blessing for my mental state. They don’t even have to help with the kids, just the fact that I can have adult conversations with them is a huge help!

This past weekend Lauren and Chris came out to the gym for drinks and bocce and then came back to the house for more drinks and games. These two have always been so great with our kids; Cash instantly climbed up on the couch and snuggled up with Lauren. ❤ Tyson asked for snuggles and he wanted to snuggle Chris instead because “he hasn’t had any snuggles yet.” Lauren read Cash’s bedtime story (The Book With No Pictures), which was so cute! They were both cracking up! It’s such a great feeling to know other people care about your kids and watching your kids enjoy themselves and care about others outside of your family.

I can’t leave Jess out. She was my first friend I made here in CA by myself and I absolutely adore her. She has been there for me through some pretty hard times and never judged. She’s always honest with me, even when it’s hard to hear. She is so good to my boys and I honestly can’t thank her enough. As I’m writing about her I keep thinking of different times when she has been there for myself or my boys. She drove us to Urgent Care and then the ER when Cash hurt his finger and stayed with us until Tyson got there. She is always there when I need someone to lean on. She has been more than happy to listen to me bitch about the kids. She really is just a great friend. My school schedule has made it hard to get together the past few months and I miss her terribly! Jess, I can’t wait until the boys are feeling better and we can get together!

Tyson and I have started making some great friends at our gym who also have kids really close in age to our boys, which is great! We make plans and involve the kids without worry of them being annoyed. We also make plans without the kids but know it needs to be planned in advance or one of the spouses has to be home with the kids. It’s a nice change to have so many friends with kids! We were just talking the other day about starting a bowling league, going to Napa, a Derby party, and going to Vegas! I hope that all of these things actually come about because I would love to spend more time with these couples, their kiddos, and build our own “family” here in CA.

Another thing that has been great about our new friends is that they are all wonderful parents. I never have to worry about bringing my kids around them and worrying about what they are going to say to our kids or their kids being a bad influence. I hope they feel the same way about us because we do try to be good parents and raise good boys. I know Cash can be a bit sassy sometimes but we’re working on it. 🙂

We also have some pretty awesome friends without kids (besides Lauren and Chris). Emily, James, Will, and CeCe are always a blast to be around and don’t mind that the kids have to tag along sometimes. Emily and James even got Tate to take his first steps at our last Tahoe trip. 

The moral of this post is that we are building up our tribe and I feel incredibly lucky to have them in my life and in our boys’ lives. ❤️❤️

What do you blog about?

this little mom

Today I went into Best Buy to purchase this adorable little Lenovolaptop that I am currently writing this blog post on. As I am making my way from the entrance all the way to the back of the store with a twenty-month old leading the way and spilling her juice as she did it, I knew it was going to be a tad longer than I had hoped for.

I made my way back and was immediately approached by an employee who was so beyond helpful, so if you are reading this Tim from Best Buy, thank you! The laptop that I wanted was out of stock even though it said online it was ready for pick up (just my luck) but I browsed the best I could with V playing the pick me up put me down game. I only need this laptop for my blog as my old…

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Safely Ever After – Cyber Bullying

Cyberbullying has gotten more and more common as more and more teens and tweens have access to the internet via family computers, cell phones, tablets, personal computers, and social media. There are plenty of crime show episodes based on cyberbullying, there are Netflix documentaries, movies, and news stories about cyberbullying and the effects it has on all parties involved.

Cyber bullying is particularly worrisome because if you are on any form of social media you know it’s not limited to kids. I am part of an “all-inclusive, welcoming, and open” mom group that has plenty of it going around. The moderators try to put these posts and offenders to a stop but there are always other posts and other nasty people out there. Our own President of the United States could be described as a cyber bully. It’s a terrifying thought that someone who holds such power will resort to twitter to call out someone he dislikes.

According to Safely Ever After there are a lot of tips to help parents, kids, and schools. They also give us reasons why kids do it, what it is, and why it’s dangerous. The statistics they give us are eye opening.

CYBERBULLYING:
Have you heard of it? If not, you probably will soon, because cyber bullying is becoming increasingly more common among tweens and teens using the Internet today. While most parents these days worry about the online stranger or predator that may be trying to lure their children, the fact is most parents don’t have a clue about this relatively new and dangerous phenomenon our kids are faced with.

WHAT IS IT?
The basic definition of cyberbullying: Using the Internet, cell phones or other electronic devices for the purpose of harassing, threatening, embarrassing, or otherwise hurting another person. Cyberbullying can be done through emails, text messaging, postings through blogs and social networking sites, or by sending pictures or images online with the intention of hurting another person.

WHY IS IT DANGEROUS?
For one thing, it preys on children emotionally AND physically. Imagine being a 13-year-old girl whose yearbook picture has been altered in some way, perhaps your face superimposed on a different body, and then texted to everyone in the school. Maybe with a threatening or humiliating caption. Maybe even with your home address and phone number. How about a 12-year-old boy… who is being bombarded daily with texts and emails calling him names, making fun of his weight or other physical features, and being taunted with threats of physical violence “you’re gonna get your ____ jumped badly after school today.” These are just two of the real-life examples of cyberbullying that our children are facing today. If you were one of those kids, what might you do? Run away, retaliate, physically hurt yourself, sink into depression?

STATISTICS
A recent survey of 1500 students, grades 4 through 8, conducted by I-Safe America (www.i-safe.org) found that:
— 42% of those interviewed were victims of some form
of cyberbullying
— 35% had been threatened
— 58% of those victims did not tell an adult or parent
— Girls were more likely to be targets of cyberbullying than boys

WHY DO KIDS DO THIS?
There are lots of reasons. Sometimes they’re motivated by anger, frustration or revenge. Sometimes it’s a form of entertainment because they’re bored, or they want a “laugh.” Some kids are looking for a sense of power or stature among their peers. Some kids may do so by accident, by not realizing that passing along hurtful messages is in fact cyberbullying. Whatever the reason may be, cyberbullying is hurtful, damaging, and can have serious consequences to everyone involved.

IS IT ILLEGAL?
In some instances, yes. Certain threats of physical harm, language or images are definitely illegal and law enforcement can and will take action, even if the perpetrator is a minor.
The sad truth is that this is happening in schools across America. Surprisingly, even kids who would never engage in bullying behavior against another person in the “real world” are taking part in cyberbullying either by instigating or passing along texts and emails as part of the “game.” Parents and educators are just now beginning to recognize the seriousness of the problem, and reaching out to understand how this happens and more importantly, how to stop it.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?
You can’t protect your child if you don’t see or understand the problem. Parents also need to be the ones that kids go to when something is troubling them, yet often they’re the last ones to know. Why – because kids fear that you’ll overreact or that they’ll get in trouble.

  1. Keep the computer in a common area of the home. Do not allow it in the child’s bedroom. Monitor their online usage.
  2. Learn how various internet sites work. Get familiar with Facebook, MySpace, Instagram, Twitter, Imgur, etc. Have your child show you these social networking sites, especially if they have profile pages.
  3. Talk regularly and specifically with your child about online issues. Let them know they can come to you with anything that is upsetting, inappropriate or threatening in any way and that you’ll help them.
  4. Don’t threaten to take away their computer if they do come to you with a problem. This threat only forces kids to go “underground” and keep things secret.
  5. Build trust with your child. Set time limits, explain your reasons and discuss rules for online safety and internet use. Have your child contribute to establishing the rules. They’ll be more inclined to follow them.
  6. Don’t overreact by blaming the victim. If your child is being bullied, be supportive and understanding. Find out how long it’s been going on and promise them, you’ll work together to find a solution. Let them know it’s NOT THEIR FAULT.
  7. Don’t under-react by telling them to “shrug it off”, or just deal with it. The emotional pain of cyberbullying is very real and can have long lasting effects. Don’t tease them about it or respond with a “kids will be kids” attitude.
  8. Talk to your school’s guidance counselor so they can keep an eye out for bullying during the school day.
  9. If there are threats of physical violence or the bullying continues to escalate, get law enforcement involved.
  10. Tell your child not to respond to any threats or bullying comments online. However, DO NOT DELETE the message(s). Instead, print it out in its entirety including the email address or online screen name of the originator. You will need this to prove exactly what is happening.

 

WHAT CAN KIDS DO? 

  1. Don’t reply or respond to the cyberbully’s message.
  2. Don’t be an accomplice. Don’t forward any bullying messages
    to others.
  3. Save/print up the evidence.
  4. Tell an adult. You can get help to solve the problem.

WHAT CAN SCHOOLS DO? 

  1. Adopt a zero tolerance policy for any and all bullying – online or in person. Make it clear that any and all intimidation, harassment, or threatening behavior will be dealt with swiftly and seriously.
  2. School districts should have anti-bullying policies in place, and both parents and students should be aware of these policies at the start of the school year.
  3. Incorporate Internet Safety Awareness classes into the curriculum.
  4. Engage students, parents, and teachers in discussions about bullying prevention. Have student council or student panels address the issue to their peers in school-wide assemblies, at PTA meetings, or other school-wide events. Get everyone involved!!

4 Days Post op

I am four days post operation and I have so much respect and love for my husband. He has been so helpful and sweet the past few days. I honestly don’t know how anyone has surgery without someone there to help take care of them. He has made sure I am taking my medication, eating, getting enough rest, and today he even helped me wash and condition my hair with minimal complaining. ❤ I am one lucky lady!

I am excited to go to my post op appointment on Friday to see when I can stop wearing this band. But until then I have plenty of books to read and movies to watch for school. In the past four days, I have gotten through two books already and absolutely loved them! If you are ever in need of a good read you should definitely check out Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann. I am interested in finding the movie as well, but I’m not a big fan of older movies so I’m not going to get my hopes up for it. The second book I read was based on a TEDx Talk given by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. It’s called We Should All be Feminists. Shockingly, I loved it! It really breaks down the idea of feminism and gets rid of the feminazi stigma.

Anyway, surgery went well. I think everything is healing the way it is supposed to. I’m only in a little bit of pain, it’s not nearly as bad as I expected. I don’t have to wear compression socks anymore, which is nice; those things are so dang hot! I even got out of the house today (and put on makeup) and took the boys to Kids World while Tyson went into the city to do some work. 🙂

I’m not going to lie, I’m going to miss being pampered by Tyson and getting to lay in bed and read. Maybe That’s what I’ll ask for Mother’s Day. Ahahaha 🙂

Thursday, March 30, 2017

I’ve finished my classes for the day which means spring break starts now! I am so excited to have a week off. I still have some work to do, but it will be significantly less than normal. Most of my homework involves watching movies for my film class, putting the final touches on my presentation, and editing my research paper. Going back from spring break will be a bit stressful, though. That Monday I have a test and a presentation. Then on Tuesday, I have another test. And of course two more tests due by Friday. YAY for college!

However, something more exciting than spring break is the fact that today is the last day of my being a part of the itty bitty tittie committee. My surgery is tomorrow morning and I am super excited. I’ve started to get pretty nervous if I’m being completely honest; I’ve only ever had surgery one other time which was to get my wisdom teeth removed. I’m also nervous about my recovery and not being able to really pick up Tate. It should be interesting and tricky to get used to.

Speaking of kids, has anyone else ever put your kids down for a nap or to bed, sat down to relax for just a few minutes, look at your clock only to realize it’s been at least 30 minutes and you’re still watching Disney Jr.? Yup, that just happened. IMG_0212

 

Happy Thursday everyone! 🙂