What I hope my children take from me

I will be completely honest with you, during the past semester Cash only went to school for 3 hours a day and then both Cash and Tate went to the daycare at our gym for 3-4 hours a day; however, every time I drop them off at the gym daycare I feel like I have to remind them both “be nice, listen to your teachers, don’t hit your friends, make sure you share, etc.” I have two generally well-behaved kids, but I still worry that they are going to act out when I’m not there to keep an eye on them and disciple them.

If you have school aged children you understand the stress that comes with sending your kids off to school for 8 hours and hoping they behave themselves or if they are younger you understand sending them to daycare and hoping they aren’t the kid/s everyone dreads coming in. I understand that as kids get older they have more struggles and ‘real life’ issues they face at school without your guidance. I am not quite there yet, but I’m one of those moms that get stressed about those things long before they happen. Which is why I wanted to address this topic.

What do you hope your children take from you as they enter elementary school? Junior high school? High school? What characteristics do you hope they take with them into the world? We leave them every day for the potential to be bullied, peer pressured, to be bullies themselves, etc. and we expect them to behave and manage themselves. At the end of the day, we can only go on their word and the occasional word from teachers and/or administrators from their school.

As I mentioned before, I am not in the stage of life with school-aged children, but my oldest was away from me for a total of roughly 7 hours a day (not including time with our nanny who sometimes works longer hours due to my school schedule). These 7 hours cause me immense anxiety. I’m constantly wondering if he’s okay, if he’s having fun, if he’s behaving, if he’s being nice, and the list goes on. Every single day that I get home from school the first thing I ask the boys and our nanny is if they were good that day. It’s a constant worry for most parents I think. The best we can do as parents is to send them into each day with the morals, characteristics, and standards that we try to instill in them day in and day out.

What are these standards? What are these morals? What characteristics do you want your children to have as they grow into adults? I can’t speak for everyone, but these are the things my husband and I try to instill in our children in our day to day lives:

  • Be respectful to everyone you meet. (Do not tease, pick on, or bully anyone else for any reason.)
  • Always be honest.
  • Try your hardest in everything you do.
  • Don’t be afraid to be who you are; don’t follow the pack if it’s not your path.

My husband and I are far from perfect parents, but we do have standards we set for our children and discipline them when they don’t meet those standards. We have only had to deal with the bullying issue once so far (it was race related), and the advice we gave our son was that ‘we love everyone no matter the color of their skin.’ It was heartbreaking to see our 4-year-old so upset over such a grown-up issue but it opened my eyes to see that this sort of issue happens early and no one is immune from bullying. As they grow up I hope our boys learn from example to see the world as equal and treat everyone with respect.

What kind of standards/morals do you set for your children and how do you instill them? I would love to know! Email me at ashley@avodkakindofmom.com. Honestly, any and all advice is welcome by me as a parent and I’m sure so many other parents would love to hear your thoughts and opinions as well!

Much Love,
Ashley

 

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