Judging

I want to address an issue we’ve all faced and that’s judging. The kind of judging I want to talk about today is mom judging. You know what I’m talking about, you go to school drop off/pick up, the playground, a Christmas program, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. and you get those looks and those comments that cut you right to the core.

Life is hard.

There are times life is great and there are times it fucking sucks! And that goes for every single person on this planet. Parenting makes life harder than it already is so why do we, as parents [especially mothers], feel the need to bring each other down like this? It hurts everyone involved.

Mom judging can come at so many different times of your child’s life. We as mothers can be judged for how we give birth, the way we feed our infant, feed our toddler, feed our teen, when we put our children in school, where we put our children in school, how we treat tantrums in public, how we treat outbursts in private with family and friends, how we treat teenage issues, and the list goes on. It never stops!

You as a parent are literally judged for every decision you make for your child, but why? Why do we as moms feel this is necessary?

I personally think there are two reasons. The first one is because we see these Instagram/Pinterest moms daily and feel insecure about how we are raising our children and want to feel better about ourselves.

First, let me break the news to you, these Instagram and/or Pinterest moms are fake. They are real humans but the lives they portray on social media aren’t real. Maybe some of them are great at baking, fantastic. Maybe some of them are clean freaks, good for them. Maybe some of them are extremely empathetic and giving, great. The issue is they are either only portraying that side of them and none of the negatives or they are altering their lives so everything looks perfect and fantastic when there are actually cracks.

The second reason I believe is the older generations of people in our lives constantly judge us, which in turn makes us judge ourselves and others. Let’s all be honest with ourselves, the older generations are a different breed, no matter how old you are and this isn’t a bad thing. They are just from a different generation, they were raised different, they raised their children different, and you will be raising your children differently than they did. Let go of their criticisms, raise your children how you see fit and stop projecting their criticisms on other parents.

More importantly than not judging is to not let the judging get to you. Know in your heart that you are a good parent and are doing your best. Don’t let someone else’s pettiness get to you and make you question your parenting abilities.

You got this mama!
I believe in you!

All The Best,
Ashley

 

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