This is another handout from a psych class that has helped me a lot lately. This has the top ten intimacy needs and it applies to all kinds of relationships. Let me know what you think.
- ACCEPTANCE: The closer we get to someone, the more we notice their imperfections. Acceptance involves looking past these flaws and meeting their needs. For example, our need for acceptance is accentuated when we experience failure.
- APPRECIATION: To communicate with words and feelings personal gratefulness for another person. This can be shown by giving cards or special gifts. These physical tokens of our appreciation are very effective and usually long-lasting.
- SUPPORT: To come alongside and gently carry a problem or struggle. become personally involved … help bear the burden.
- ENCOURAGEMENT: To urge forward and positively persuade towards a goal. To inspire with courage, spirit, and hope.
- AFFECTION: To communicate care and closeness through physical touch and affirming words. Examples; become more physical, hold, caress, give a body rub, hold hands, and kiss. It is important that these physical gestures be performed as expressions of emotional love and support. Also, verbalize your love. Share spontaneous expressions which are “not merited.” Example; I’ve been thinking today about how special you are to me and how much I love you.
- RESPECT: TO value and regard highly; convey great worth, to hold in esteem. A general guideline of respect is that before making any commitment that impacts another person’s life, discuss and talk with them about this.
- SECURITY: To put beyond hazard of losing, wanting, or deprivation.
- COMFORT: To give strength and hope in an attempt to ease grief or pain. To console/cheer. It involves empathy. Identifying with feelings of others. To weep with those who weep. Comfort is an emotional need.
- APPROVAL: To accept as satisfactory; to have and express validating opinions.
- ATTENTION: TO take thought of another. Convey appropriate care, interest concern, and support. To enter each other’s world. Example; spending time with someone else. Listen to the other person.