What constitutes being a good mother? Or parent in general?
This question is asked by most mothers, fathers, and guardians. I hear so many different opinions regarding the subject that it’s hard to determine which is actually the correct one.
I was told a few weeks back that it is my “job” to be with my kids. It was my responsibility to not work and raise my children. It was my choice to have children and it was my responsibility to raise them. I was told we, as women, can not have kids and a career, you must choose between the two. I was told you are supposed to suffer and give up your entire life for 18 years for your children.
And to all of these ideas; I say you are wrong.
For your children to grow up as happy, healthy, independent, and intelligent adults we as parents need to be happy, healthy, independent, and intelligent adults. We as parents need to model these behaviors in order to teach our children how to become active participants in society.
I go to school full time, my husband works full time and we are raising two kind hearted and intelligent boys. I see nothing wrong with having a nanny while I am in class a few hours every week. On top of our nanny, we use Kids World 3 to 4 hours a day, every day. You may say I am not a good mother because I don’t spend endless hours with my children but I strongly disagree. I am a happier person since I’ve started going to school and using Kids World. Me being happier makes me a better wife, mother, and friend. On top of that my children are being exposed to different people and having to listen to adults other than my husband and me. Not only are they having to follow directions and rules from someone else they are learning how to function without me there.
They are learning how to make friends without me there holding their hands. They are learning how to deal with problems without running to mommy. They are learning how to navigate friendships and bullies. They are learning how to stand up for each other and their friends.
These are life lessons I can not teach them alone and I am so thankful for our nanny, Janai, all the wonderful teachers at Kids World, the cute friends my boys are making, and our amazing friends who are helping raise our boys into respectable men.
And so, to this person who felt it necessary to condemn how I am living my life and raising my children I ask you to look at yourself, your family, and your own happiness. Ask yourself if you are happy. Ask yourself if your children will remember their childhood with a happy and loving mother. Ask yourself if you truly believe your kids’ happiness should come before your own. Ask yourself if you are truly happy with the life you are living. Ask yourself if you had a chance to do it all over again, would you?
I don’t know your answers to these questions and I honestly don’t care. I simply ask you to take a look in the mirror before you pass judgment on anyone else.