Finals Week is Officially Over!

I’m sorry I’ve been so MIA this week. This was finals week and Tyson has been gone for work since Sunday afternoon. Which means I have been studying, stressing, and taking tests the past couple of days on my own. The great news is it’s all over! Pray for me that I get all A’s again this semester. I am stressing out about it and want nothing more than to continue my 4.0. And the worst part is I won’t know until next week sometime.

Tyson is always telling me how if I did my best that’s all I can do and I should be proud of what I’ve done…. That sounds great and all but I really do want to get A’s. I feel like I’ve worked my butt off and want to make sure I can get into Berkley next fall. A girl can dream, right?

Anyway, Tyson doesn’t get home until late Wednesday night, has to work on Thursday and then on Friday we are going to Bottle Rock to see Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. I am so damn excited! My dad and Nikki will be here on Saturday and are staying for a whole week!

It’s going to be so nice to get a small break from the kids while they are here. And I mean that in the most sincere way possible. I do love my kids, but it’s hard not having any family here to give us a small break every now and then. We are going to be spending time at the pool, drinking, hanging out with friends, and tyson and I are actually going to have our first night away from both the boys.

We are going to be spending time at the pool, drinking, hanging out with friends, and packing up our house to get ready to move. To top it all off Tyson and I are actually going to have our first night away from both the boys. Which I am so extremely excited for! I booked us a hotel room in the city, we are going to dinner, and we are just going to enjoy being adults with no children. I have every intention of sleeping in, undisturbed and I can not wait! That’s how you know I’m a mom, I am looking forward to sleep on a romantic night away with my husband. Ahahahaha

Control or Equality?

Control or Equality?

I wrote this out on Thursday and I meant to post it yesterday for Feminist Friday but I was busy with the boys, homework, and then the pool so I just honestly didn’t have time and didn’t think about it until it was too late. I’m sorry about that. I really do try and stay on top of the blog along with everything else going on, but this week it was just too much. Anyway, this week is just going to have to be Feminist Saturday. – And let’s be honest, any day is a good day for a little feminism. 🙂
I had to write a paper on the different stances that Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Sandra Day O’Connor took on abortion and how they both felt about Roe v. Wade. O’Connor was personally against abortion but thought women should have the ability to have them. She was okay with making it difficult for women though. The undue burden on the state was tricky with her. O’Connor defended outlandish restrictions that made a woman getting an abortion nearly impossible. She defended restrictions such as making women listen to speeches and then wait for their abortions or making young women get permission from their parents. These sorts of restrictions would drive women to risky abortions with unlicensed people, unsafe tools, and methods, as well as overseas.  Even though she tried to make outlandish restrictions she did not want it done away with completely. She did feel women should have some rights over their reproductive choices. This was very clear in Webster v. Reproductive Health Services. She had asked the Solicitor General if they passed this new piece of legislation if they would be able to force women to have abortions in the future. He, of course, denied that but who really knows since it was not passed.

Ginsburg, on the other hand, felt women must control their bodies (which that included their reproductive rights and their right to abortions) to achieve legal and social equality. Ginsburg felt abortion rights should have been included under the 14th amendment and not just a court case decision that could be overturned. She felt women needed that right to make them equal in every way and didn’t think there should be any restrictions imposed by the state except those to protect women’s health itself.

I am clearly more in line with Ginsburg’s ideas on the topic and while I was doing research for my paper I found an interesting article. The reason I found this article was because the idea of the fetus being thought of as a human being and religion was first brought before the court with the Webster v. Reproductive Health Services case. I was raised Catholic, went to a Luthern school, and then continued my faith in a born again Christian church as an adult, yet I never viewed abortion as a religious issues. I always viewed it as a woman’s issue that strictly involved women. Religion had no place in the discussion, in my mind.

It’s a hard conversation to have because most pro-life people have their opinions rooted in their religion. While on the other hand, most pro-choice people have the opinions rooted in equality. One issue with this is there is supposed to be a separation of church and state. That line is continuously being crossed when it comes to abortion in states all over the country. Politicians are constantly trying to push new laws through the system that inhibit women from getting abortions and taking control over their reproductive rights.

The issue is very black and white to me. It is either pro-choice and equality or pro-life and control. There really is no middle ground in my eyes.

 

Anyway, enough of my rambling on. Here is the article I found and liked so much:

“This past Friday, Tennessee Governor Bill Haslam signed the deceptively named “Tennessee Infants Protection Act,” a bill that does nothing for infants but prohibits physicians from performing abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy. Tennessee Republicans blocked all efforts from Democrats to include exceptions for incest, mental health, or even rape. (After all, if a woman is raped, GOP lawmakers say it must be God’s will.)

The “pro-life” movement has never been about “life,” it has, and always will, be about control. Control over a woman’s reproduction—taken from the individual and given to GOP legislators, like Republican Billy Long.  The entire movement has been a scam from its inception: it all began with a single disingenuous conference call to come up with ways to gin up support for segregationist Bible colleges. Up until that point, churches didn’t have any problem with it. Why should they? The Bible says nothing about it. Even though abortion was practiced way back in Jesus’ time, He never said one word about it.

Yet when the Tennessee law was debated, among the countless other patriarchal attacks on women, I hear the same tired argument over and over again. I hear it in other statehouses, including my own, whenever the GOP tries to regulate women’s pregnancies. Unfortunately, I always see Democrats trying to argue on their terms, and falling for the same trap. So let’s talk:

As many of you know, I live in a conservative paradise: no services, few jobs, and guns—lots of guns. The same rednecks who brag about mowing down a family of deer or discussing their fantasies of killing folks they don’t like are always the same ones getting on their soapbox about the sanctity of life when it comes to abortion. One of my neighbors went on and on about “killing babies”—right after he made a joke about what to name a dead Syrian toddler. (I won’t repeat it. I couldn’t even pretend to like him after that. )

A politician isn’t usually that blatantly crass. (Although the new Trump-era GOP politicians are really testing the waters.) But they all make the same argument that frames it very black and white: God makes the baby,  and the evil woman kills the baby. (After all, she is just an empty vessel.) The zygote, however, is no different to them than an infant. To them, terminating a pregnancy—even if the cells are smaller than a dot (.)—is exactly the same thing as strangling a newborn baby. It’s crazy, but that’s how they think. Arguing with any rightwing politician or supporter with this kind of framing is a losing proposition every time.

Why? Because with this kind of framing, they always are on the side of “saving the infant’s life,” and any argument to the contrary—rights, reproductive freedom—can always be framed that we want to end it. I don’t play that game at all, and neither should you. Stop arguing with them over the issue of abortion itself, but on whatever the offending legislation is. There is a BIG difference.

Whatever the offending legislation is, it will always be about making it more difficult to get an abortion. The problem I can always point out is that the legislation never achieves the primary objective of preventing a woman from getting an abortion in the first place. You see, wealthy women will go where it is legal. Women of lesser means will still make the cost-analysis that it will be cheaper in the long run even if they have to travel quite far. Poor women will do something drastic. You may make it more difficult, but you won’t stop abortion.

The entire irony of the pro-life movement is that even if they achieve their ultimate objective—overturning Roe v. Wade—abortion will still be available somewhere. Furthermore, like it or not, we are rapidly approaching an era where women won’t have to travel anywhere to have an abortion. It will soon be possible for a woman to ingest medication to stop her pregnancy in her own home. Trust me, when that happens, you can pass every stupid law you want, but it won’t stop.

No, if you really and truly believe that abortion is murder, and you really and truly want it to stop, there is only one way to do it. However, it entails the one thing that the religious right has never, ever been willing do to: make it easier for the woman to have the baby.

Fight outrageous daycare fees, and support programs that make daycare affordable. Ensure the child has healthcare, and at the very least, stop trying so damn hard to block food stamps for the baby!

Make it easier (and cheaper) for parents to adopt. Get women the help they need to support their baby—and abortion rates will drop dramatically, far more than any legislation ever could.

Is this really about stopping abortion? Then how about initiatives to give these women a hand in their desperate situation. This will not only solve the problem, it’s the “Christian” thing to do. Besides, if you force a woman to bear a child, shouldn’t you make sure you allow her some means to take care of the child? No?

Sure, at this point, we then argue about tax dollars going to provide for the most basic necessities for an infant to survive—but see what I did there? The high ground they claimed is gone. Wait, weren’t you just talking about the sanctity of life? I’m trying to save a born infant’s life and NOW you are telling me that if he/she dies it’s “not your damn problem”?? (Those were the exact words used, BTW.)

How “Christian” of you.

Of course, this has never been about stopping abortion. It’s the exact same reason the religious right opposes comprehensive sex education and access to contraception—two other ways to stop abortion.  This is all really about control–control of the woman.

If you want to argue for legislation to do that, I can’t stop you.

But I damn sure am not going to let you claim the moral high ground on it, either.”

10 things I say all the time!

10 things I say all the time!

As a mother I find myself repeating myself, all god damn day. I swear my kids refuse to listen to me on purpose. They must like to hear my voice or something. 🙂 Anyway, a while back I wrote Cash’s top 10 sayings I hear throughout the day so I figured, since I am constantly repeating myself I would write down my top 10 ten most repeated phrases. I’m sure some of these phrases will change as the boys grow and I can’t wait to see what life brings us.

  1. “I love you.”
  2. “Leave your brother alone!”
  3. “Cash/Tate, you need to share!.”
  4. “No.”
  5. “Come on, Cash. Hurry up, please.”
  6. “You are making mommy very frustrated.”
  7. “Cash/Tate, what is the problem here? Why are you fighting?”
  8. “What would you like to eat?”
  9. “If you do that again you are going to lose it for the day!”
  10. “Boys, keep your hands to yourself!”

As my boys get older and Tate starts hitting more I find myself wondering how bad it’s going to get before it stops. 😦 What are you constantly saying to your little ones (or your spouse)?

A Vodka Worthy Day

Somehow my aunt just knew that I was struggling today. She randomly sent me this adorable video from FB:

So a little insight into my day:

My kids are driving me crazy!

All they have done today is argue with me, whine at me, and ignore me when I ask them to do things.

Every time I told Cash ‘no’ he would either meltdown, whine and scream or he would growl and pout. I was seriously ready to smack him at the end of the day. Thankfully Tyson came home and let me put my headphones in and work on my homework while he entertained Cash.

As for Tate, he just cried and wanted to be held since I got home from class, at 11! I couldn’t get him to nap unless I laid down and he got to snuggle on my chest. Which is cute and so adorable but today I was hungry and I had so much homework/studying to do. I didn’t eat much or get any homework done.

I was counting down the minutes until Tyson text me telling me he was on his way home. While I was trying to tell myself I didn’t need a drink yet and it could wait until at least 5 pm. 😦

My aunt gave me some great advice tonight and made me feel so much better about the whole day. Here’s how the conversation went:

ME: ❤ Thank you. I needed to see this today. ❤

AUNT: I totally saw you and the boys when I watched it. 💛💛💛

ME: I hope they love me that much and have good days ..Today was not one of those days. I yelled a lot.

AUNT: Those days happen, I think they remember the good days. Just always end the day with I love you….even if they are asleep before you can actually calm down enough to say it. 💜

 

I don’t know what prompted her to send me that video but it has made my night so much better and easier to deal with mentally. I am so incredibly lucky to have such a great role model in my life who loves me as unconditionally as she does.

I love you, Karen. ❤

 

Mother’s Day Do-Over?

Mother’s Day Do-Over?

Can I get real with you all for a minute?

I want a do-over.

Also, sick kids suck! They are cranky, whiny, obnoxious, snotty, and they won’t leave you alone. Worse than sick kids is having sick kids while you are sick. Which was my Mother’s Day; I have some sort of sinus infection or a horrible migraine and both boys are sick.

Tyson tried to be helpful and let me sleep, make me one of my favorite foods from home (Scones, which I learned after moving here are not actually ‘scones’. However, if you’re from Utah and ask for a scone everyone knows what you’re talking about. It is deep fried amazing-ness with honey butter. It’s also known as fry bread, Tyson informed me today.) and mimosas. However, because I was feeling so lousy it took me a long time to get moving and by mid afternoon I think he was really frustrated with the kids. As I said earlier they were extremely whiny, a constant drip of boogers ran from their noses, and they just wanted attention; especially Tate.

What I’m trying to get at is I would like to have a Mother’s Day do over… Is that a thing? I had high hopes for today. Brunch and mimosas, some alone time to do some long overdue homework, and some time to just relax. Unfortunately, I don’t see it in our future. 😦

Maybe next year the boys and I can get our acts together and not be sick on Mother’s Day. I would love to enjoy a few mimosas and sunshine with a nice book.

A girl can dream, right?

Things you should never say to a mom

Things you should never say to a mom

In honor of Mother’s Day:

Every single mom has those horror stories about the insane comments people say to you while pregnant, a mom to babies, a mom to toddlers, a mom to school-aged children, a mom to pre-teens, and a mom to teens. I do not have any experience with comments to school-aged children and older but I have had my fair share of comments already.

  • You look tired. Ummm… go fuck yourself. Who do you think you are? You don’t look like a dime either!
  • What do you do all day? (for a stay at home mom) Do you ever see your kids? (for a working mom) Both lives are hard. They each have different struggles and if you have never been in their shoes just shut up! I have done both and both are difficult. Both come with their own set of challenges and sacrifices.
  • Why didn’t you (insert task here) today? Do you know what I deal with all day? Have you ever spend all day with toddlers? You try and clean and they immediately come behind you with another tornado of a mess. Or have you ever tried to shower with two toddlers? They will get in the toilet, tear up the toilet paper, get in your makeup, etc. Or have you ever tried to have a life when you have multiple kids in different sports? You’re basically a glorified uber driver with no time for yourself.
  • Sleep when the baby sleeps. Ah, the age-old advice to every new mother. Yeah, that would be great but there is so much that needs to be done around the house. Who else is going to do it? Are you going to come over and clean my house and do my laundry and make dinner? No, I didn’t think so.
  • It only gets worse as they get older. One, thanks for making me feel even worse than I already do, dick. Two, maybe it did for your kids because they are ass holes. Three, everyone has different strengths. Some people can deal with teenagers much better than others. And some people can be considered as baby whispers. Every child is different and every parent is different so quit trying to scare us young parents!
  • Oh my, you have your hands full. Are you trying to say I can’t handle my children? Are you saying I have too many kids? Are you saying my kids are being brats? Thanks for your input but no thanks.
  • Enjoy this time. Enjoy what? I’m supposed to enjoy the smacking, hitting, screaming, back talking, mini me walking around outside of my body? Umm…. how? Please enlighten me on how much you enjoyed your child’s early years.
  • Are you loving it? Who is going to say no? No normal parent is going to admit they are not loving being a parent, but that shit is hard. EVERYONE has ups and downs while parenting. You love your kid/s but god damn it, they can test you every single day!

Obviously, most of these pertain to parents with younger children because that’s all I know right now. What are some things people have said to you that caused you to take 3 deep breaths before responding?

Anyway, Happy Mother’s day to all the wonderful mothers out there! You are all superheroes!!! ❤

Jim Comey’s Farewell Letter

Jim Comey’s Farewell Letter

I found this little piece of great literature on The Mary Sue.

I always knew that my degree in English literature that I am still paying for would one day prove to be crucial in a world crisis. Now, I will expertly use the unique skills that I was trained in, like close reading and deconstructing the nuances of subtext from sentences, to translate ex-FBI Director Comey’s farewell letter to his colleagues for the masses.

To all:

I DIDN’T EVEN ACTUALLY GET TO SEND THIS TO EVERYONE IN THE DEPARTMENT BECAUSE I WAS SHOVED OUT LIKE A GODDAMNED PARIAH WHO HAD PISSED IN H.R.’S COFFEE SO FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW POST IT ON FREAKIN’ FACEBOOK SO THAT YOUR GRANDMOTHER SEES IT PRINT OUT COPIES AND DROP THEM FROM OUR STEALTH SPY AIRPLANES OVER THE AMBER FIELDS OF AMERICA MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS

I’M OFFICIALLY NAILING THIS SHIT TO THE CHURCH DOOR LIKE MARTIN LUTHER

I have long believed that a President can fire an FBI Director for any reason, or for no reason at all.

IN CASE IT’S NOT PERFECTLY CLEAR I’M THE LATTER CASE Y’ALL OR ELSE I WOULDN’T HAVE MENTIONED IT

I’m not going to spend time on the decision or the way it was executed.

YEAH I’M NOT GONNA GO INTO IT HERE BECAUSE H.R.’S LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER BUT THE FACT THAT I MENTION “THE DECISION” IS MEANT TO BE A BIG RED FLAG CALLING YOUR ATTENTION TO SHITBAG TRUMP’S SHITBAG DECISION

AND THE FACT THAT I ALSO MENTION THE WAY IT WAS EXECUTED IS MEANT TO REMIND YOU THAT THAT MOTHERF–ER DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE BASIC RESPECT TO CALL ME OR LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN HE FIRED ME LISTEN FRIENDS WE TREAT FBI TRAINEES BETTER WHEN WE CATCH THEM DOING SILENCE OF THE LAMBS COSPLAY IN THE QUANTICO DORMS AT NIGHT

LISTEN FRIENDS ENTRY-LEVEL TEMPS GET BETTER TREATMENT THAN YOUR MAN HERE WHO DEDICATED DECADES OF HIS LIFE TO KEEPING THIS GODFORSAKEN COUNTRY SAFE WHILE TRUMP LIVED IN A GOLDEN TOWER HOSTING REALITY TELEVISION SHOWS AND GRABBING PUSSIES YOU BEST BELIEVE YOU BETTER SPEND SOME QUALITY TIME THINKING ABOUT HOW THIS WAS HANDLED EVEN TOTAL FAILURES GET A HEADS-UP FIRST AND I’M STILL WAITING TO HEAR ABOUT SEVERANCE FROM H.R.

I hope you won’t either.

I HOPE YOU WILL

It is done, and I will be fine, although I will miss you and the mission deeply.

I’M NOT FINE I’M NOT FINE I’M BARELY KEEPING IT TOGETHER DID Y’ALL HEAR HOW THAT SONNOVABITCH IN CHIEF WAITED UNTIL I WAS OUT OF THE STATE TO FIRE ME AND SENT HIS PERSONAL BODYGUARD WITH A NOTE TO FBI HEADQUARTERS EVEN THOUGH I WASN’T THERE LIKE THAT IS SOME DOWNTON ABBEY SHIT YOU’RE GONNA MAKE THE BUTLER DO YOUR DIRTYWORK AND SEND A MCFRICKEN NOTE AS THOUGH ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL DIDN’T SOLVE THIS COMMUNICATION PROBLEM IN 1876 FUCK

I have said to you before that, in times of turbulence, the American people should see the FBI as a rock of competence, honesty, and independence.

RED FLAG RED FLAG SIRENS TO ARMS MY PEOPLE THIS IS A TIME OF TURBULENCE OR ELSE I WOULDN’T HAVE SAID SO

WE’RE IN DEEP DOODOO HERE NOW SO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE GOTTA DO: BE HONEST AND INDEPENDENT BY WHICH I MEAN TELL THE COUNTRY WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON HERE LEAK YOUR LEAKY LIL HEARTS OUT BE INDEPENDENT ANSWER TO NO ONE IN THAT CORRUPT FESTERING WOUND OF AN ADMINISTRATION FBI GOING ROGUE NOW

What makes leaving the FBI hard is the nature and quality of its people, who together make it that rock for America.

HERE I AM REMINDING YOU AGAIN WE ARE AMERICA’S ONLY HOPE YOU ARE ALL NOW OBI-WAN KENOBI ONLY AMERICAN

It is very hard to leave a group of people who are committed only to doing the right thing.

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE DIRECTLY CHARGED YOU WITH BUCKING ALL CONVENTIONS AND AUTHORITY AND TAKING THESE BASTARDS THE HELL DOWN NEED I SPELL IT OUT AGAIN OK I WILL: “ONLY DOING THE RIGHT THING” AND I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS

My hope is that you will continue to live our values and the mission of protecting the American people and upholding the Constitution.

DONNIE TRUMPO HAS INVOKED A CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS AND HE’S WIPING HIS ASS WITH OUR MOST SACRED DOCUMENT THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME I HAVE EXPLICITLY TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAD BETTER STEP UP

If you do that, you too will be sad when you leave, and the American people will be safer.

SORRY YOU’RE GOING TO BE FIRED AS WELL BY THIS CANCER ON THE AMERICAN STATE IT’S GOING TO BE WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER BUT THE COUNTRY’S FREEDOM IS ACTUALLY AT STAKE HERE DESTROY HIM LIKE A GREAT AVENGING EAGLE

Working with you has been one of the great joys of my life. Thank you for that gift.

IF I EVER MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU MY G-MEN AND G-WOMEN YOU WILL BURN THIS MOTHER DOWN

Jim Comey

CALL ME JIM BECAUSE I’M JUST AN EVERYMAN CITIZEN NOW THAT THIS ORANGE WANNABE DICTATOR TERMINATED ME SO LET’S GRAB A BEER SOMETIME I’M FREE MOST NIGHTS THIS WEEK AND NEXT AND THE WEEK AFTER THAT I HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON MY HANDS ALL OF A SUDDEN EVER SINCE I WAS RELIEVED OF MY NONPARTISAN TEN-YEAR APPOINTMENT THAT NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN FIRED FROM BEFORE EXCEPT DUE TO SERIOUS ETHICAL BREACH AND I REMIND YOU I LEARNED I WAS FIRED FROM THE GODDAMNED TELEVISION LIKE A LAUGHINGSTOCK ME JIM COMEY I HAVE SEEN THINGS YOU PEOPLE WOULDN’T BELIEVE I KNOW WHERE ALL THE BODIES ARE BURIED OUR PRESIDENT IS ONE STUPID ASSHOLE ISN’T HE ANYWAY THE FATE OF THE NATION IS ON THE LINE THESE ARE YOUR ORDERS JIM OUT