What was your life like before having kids?
Was it something you are proud of? Did you travel? Did you go to school? Did you invest time in your career? Did you take time for yourself? Did you learn about yourself? What did you do with all that extra time?
The reason I am writing this is because I have learned a few things over the past 3 1/2 years that I never would have learned without having kids. While you need to be selfless for your children you also need to take time for yourself and do things for yourself to stay sane as a parent. I had Cash at 23 and did not go to school before that. All of which means I did not invest in my career, travel, or learn very much about myself.
Before I was a parent I was a very selfish person and unfortunately that carried into parenthood. It didn’t change just because I got pregnant and had a gorgeous little baby. I was still very selfish and had a hard time adjusting to parent life. Once I realized that my son needed me to be at my very best and become selfless, things got a bit easier. It has been a work in progress but I feel like I continue to get better at it all the time. However, it’s only been over the past year that I’ve learned I need to take some me time to do things I want and need to do.
I’ve learned how to enjoy alone time. Before I would have hated walking around town by myself (without talking on the phone), sitting outside and relaxing alone, etc. My husband has been a great example of living a life outside of your kids and partner. Now I love the moments when I can simply sit in the sunshine and relax without any of my boys. I look forward to sitting down and doing homework even because I know it means I am getting some alone time.
Tyson always puts our family first but also needs his alone time and time with friends; without us. I had a hard time understanding this at first, but it was most likely because I didn’t have any friends in the city and I hated being alone. I feel so fortunate that he gives me the time I need to go do things with friends and spend some alone time to do whatever I want or need to do.
I adore our children and would never change my life as a mother, but I sure do love my “me” time and our date nights. I do, however, look forward to the times when they are older and Tyson and I can enjoy more alone time and travel more, but until then I will enjoy my random nights away and alone time.
Shout out to all the mamas and daddy’s being selfless and still taking care of yourself; it’s hard work!