We only have one couple friend that has kids so the rest of our friends just don’t understand the struggle that comes with having children. Especially young children. They are usually pretty good, but there are times that I just want to smack them for their lack of common sense and/or empathy.
So, to all you childless people out there let me give you some insight into a few things;
- It’s really hard for us to go out. This is hard for a few different reasons. First off you have to find a babysitter. Then if you don’t have family around that means you have to pay for a babysitter, which is usually $20 an hour or more. So a night out could cost well over $130 and that’s not including dinner, drinks, or whatever else you’re doing. When we can go out, don’t sit there on your phone the entire time. We are paying good money to come out with you!
- Hangovers really, really suck when you have kids. This goes along with us going out. Childless friends can stay in bed until noon, get up, go get brunch, go home take a nap, etc. Not us; oh no. In my house, we are up no later than 7 with two very rambunctious and loud boys. Even if one of use sleeps in, the other one still has to get up. And it just doesn’t stop in the morning, it’s all day. We have to deal with demanding kids while we nurse a hangover all day!
- It’s not easy to just go run some errands. This is really specific to having younger kids. Getting two kids in and out of car seats, in and out of shopping carts, etc is a pain in the ass. It takes me twice as long to go grab some medicine from CVS with one or both my boys. They whine, they run off, they ask for things, and they can not sit still. So if you ask me to stop and grab something real quick when you know I have my kids, go fuck yourself.
- We can’t usually just do last minute things. We usually need to plan things in advance. We can’t just decide an hour before that we want to go do something. We need to figure out sitters, schedules, snacks, packing, and the list goes on. Life is not simple anymore. But we like it better this way.
- We don’t want your advice. You are not a parent. You do not understand the struggles of parenthood so please, just shut up. I absolutely hate hearing “My kids will never act like that.” Or “Have you tried XYZ with Cash?” Or “Why don’t you do this?” Or “I would smack their butts if my child acted such and such a way.” I honestly just want to tell them “Just you wait…” I also dislike hearing my childless friends judge other parents, even if I don’t know them. Again, you do not have children so you can’t possibly understand the full situation. Stop judging. Parenting is hard!
- It’s very frustrating when you flake on us. We took a lot of time planning being able to go out with you (with or without kids) and it’s incredibly rude for you to bail on us. And if we are bringing the kids they are most likely really excited to see you too and now you’ve let them down. Which in my house means I have to hear Cash complain about it for several days.
- Being a stay at home mom is hard.You may think we just sit at home all day watching TV and eating bon bons but let me tell you, it’s nothing like that. We are constantly cleaning up, feeding, entertaining children, and craving adult conversation. On the flip side of that, being a working mom is just as hard. Daycare is expensive, we miss our kids when we are at work, and we still have to do all of those household chores when we get him. Being a mom is a 24/7 job. Do not ever criticize either style of motherhood. And don’t ever assume our life is easier one way or the other. Again, parenting is hard work!
- Schedules. Schedules are so important to our children! They are so important to us. Nap time schedules, feeding schedules, bedtime schedules, any kind of schedule helps our lives run smoothly. I know my children get a little crazy when we don’t follow our normal schedule or our normal routine gets changed. So when you want to do something in the middle of the day and want the kids to nap on the go or skip their nap, you are asking for trouble.
- We really don’t want to hear all about your drunk weekends, over and over again. We get it, you like to party. That’s fine and all, but we have moved on from that time in our lives and have no interest in hearing you brag about how much you drank, that time you passed out, etc. If it’s a rare occurrence then hell yes, tell us all about it! We would love to hear about your random drunken make out with the hot guy you just met. Or the other night when you got so drunk for your birthday you fell over. But we don’t want to hear about your wild weekends every single time we talk. Thanks, but no thanks.