I got pregnant with Cash at 22. We were trying to have him and it was very normal for people our age to have children that young, or younger, in Utah. When I moved to San Francisco I quickly learned the normal time to have children was sometime in your 30’s. And quite honestly, it baffled me, but I think that was just because I was used to being from Utah where everyone had kids young.
As I have matured and become a better parent, and person in general, I have spent some time thinking about this. Would it have been easier to wait to have children? Yes, of course. Would it have been smarter to wait to have children? Yes, of course. If I could do it all over again would I wait until later in life? No way, and here’s why.
- Having Cash made me grow up.
Until then I was drinking way too much, like way too much! I was working in a title loan company, which was not the safest place to work with no room to move up. I was in unstable relationships but had such low self esteem I would date complete losers because I didn’t think I could be alone. But after I had Cash I had a purpose in my life. I had someone I needed to take care of and who solely depended me on. I took that seriously and tried making a better life for us.
- I will be a young empty nester.
I miss out on a lot of fun things my friends do because I have kids. And I will be completely honest with you, it sucks sometimes. I love going out and having a good time but that’s just not as easy when you have two kids under 4. However, I will be 44 when Tate leaves for college. 44! How amazing does that sound? Most of my friends will still have kids in middle school or younger at that same age! When I am 44 I will be able to travel and not worry about baby sitters, my kids missing school, taking the kids with, etc. Tyson and I will get to enjoy our time together while I am still quite young. I say when I am quite young because Tyson will be 56 when Tate leaves for college. (I still love you, dear. <3)
- I get to grow with my children.
I definitely still have a lot of growing up to do. A lot of experiences will happen with my children at my side. When I graduate college both my boys will be old enough to remember it, and that makes me proud. I am glad they get to watch me work hard for something I think is important. I am thankful they will get to watch me struggle but refuse to give up. They will learn, through watching me, that when things get hard you don’t just give up.
- It was easier for me to adjust to parenthood (in some aspects).
I didn’t have all of my 20’s to spread my oats and experience life so when I had Cash not much of my life changed. I was still struggling to pay all of my bills, I was still working a dead end job, and I was still figuring myself out. Now I know that doesn’t sound like a great situation but I think it worked for us. I didn’t have a decade to enjoy myself, make a career for myself, etc. So when Cash came it was less of an adjustment for me than it would be for someone who was 33 with a stable career and social life. I definitely wasn’t as mentally prepared as I thought I was, but as time has gone on I’ve realized you can never truly prepare yourself for parenthood. It fucks with EVERYONE!
- Bounce Back Body!
Now I know this is entirely up to genetics, but age doesn’t hurt. My body hasn’t changed a ton after having two children and I rarely work out (I never did until I met my husband). I’ve gotten extremely lucky by not having any stretch marks on my stomach or boobs or having a severe “mom pooch.” I truly believe that has something to do with how young I was when I had both kids.
There are cons too, but why focus on the negative right?
Hands up young mamas!