Please tell me it’s just a phase

Cash has started hitting. I hate admitting this to anyone, let alone myself. I have no idea where this is coming from. It’s not like he’s frustrated with something and hits out of anger or frustration. He’s just hitting. 😦

On Friday or Saturday, I can’t remember, he was playing with Tyson (not play fighting either) and he just reared back and punched him in the face. Tyson picked him up and put him in his room for timeout right then. Tyson went in after a few minutes and talked to him, thinking that would solve the problem.

But on Monday Cash and I were playing ‘Star Wars’ (he has light sabers and a Darth Vader mask) and he punched me in the face while I was wearing the mask. We weren’t play fighting either. I sent him to his room and then went in and talked to him after a few minutes. I tried a different angle. I asked him if he liked when Beckham (our friend’s very young son hit him pretty hard, and unprovoked, the day before) hit him. He of course said no, so I asked if he thinks I like it when he hits me. He said no again and then told me I hurt his feelings. Ugh!

The following day Tate was in the highchair and Cash was just playing with him. Cash grabbed a stuffed animal and started hitting his brother in the head. This stuffed animal has big plastic eyes, which of course had to hit Tate in the head. Tate started crying and I sent Cash to his room, again. After a few minutes I went in to talk to him. I brought up the Beckham situation again and then told him he lost his game for the rest of the night and the next day. He also lost his privilege to getting a treat that night after eating all his dinner. Cash then told me I make his whole day so sad. Damn this kid knows how to hit all the feels. 😦

I thought taking away his game and his treat would do the trick but an hour later he was getting ready for bed and slapped Tyson’s hand. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Why? So he got a stern talking to and he lost my phone for the night and the next day.

I just don’t know what to do. Losing privileges hasn’t worked, getting time out hasn’t work, and being yelled at isn’t working. What am I doing wrong? Does he need to have longer timeouts (ours are roughly 3-5 minutes)? Does he need to lose privileges for longer periods of time?

I don’t want him to be a bully. I don’t want him to be ‘that kid.’ 😦

What do you guys do to deal with kids who are hitting?


5 thoughts on “Please tell me it’s just a phase

  1. Here’s a couple of ideas to try, they’ve worked for us, when I can keep a lid on my big lecturing mouth that is!
    When cash hits/punches…
    Ignoring Cash, get down in between him and the “victim”, put your back to Cash if you can, and either just give the person a hug or if they’re all enough swoop them up and take them off to make a cup of tea with you. Some people say you should make a “big fuss” of the victim like “Oh you poor thing bla bla bla”, I’ve tried that but decided it was a bit dumb, felt like creating a victim mentality and also why pile guilt on to the little bugger doing the hitting???
    Or swoop in silently, carry/march him to his room (no angry hands😬) close the door. You could say “two minutes” in a stern voice if you wanted? My thoughts are that if you act straight away kids know why they’re in time out, you don’t need to waste your breath.
    Maybe it started as a reflex and he got a new and interesting reaction? I’m thinking the first option might be best, giving him no attention for it at all.
    Good luck.
    Ps I like the way you write, as a mother I’m always like “What the fuck?” Kids are so darn 🤔.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the ideas! I really like both of them and never even knew they were options. He’s very sensitive so I agree and think the first one will work and get a point across that it’s not okay to hit others.
      And thank you for the compliment. Kids are hard. I love them but damn. 😝 ahaha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. OH man, I really feel for you. This is so tough! My daughter doesn’t other people, but she does this weird thing where she smooshes her squishy dolls in her face, pretty hard. She calls it “puffing,” but it seems a little violent. Anyway, we haven’t stopped that… BUT I think I like the comment above about not giving Cash the attention for the hitting. Just put him silently in time-out (he knows what he did was wrong) and keep the emotion out of your voice so he doesn’t see that he’s getting a rise out of you. Make sure Tate is safe, not crying, etc., but I also agree with not “over-victimizing” the victim. Keep cool but make sure Cash knows you’re serious that hitting is not allowed. Maybe check out some books in the library on hitting. We read one a few months ago in story time called “Hands are Not for Hitting.” I hope that helps! Stay strong!!

    Liked by 1 person

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