Just a little bit of crazy

Anyone that knows me knows I have a few OCD tendencies.

This is not new to me, I have been very aware of my particular way of doing things since I was young.

However, Tyson said something to me the other day when he was frustrated with me that really hit home. He told me I get upset when things are not done my way or the during the time frame that I would like them. And because of that I do everything myself. But then get frustrated that I don’t get any help.

And he’s right you know… I do get frustrated. I get so mad that he doesn’t help out more around the house or help out when it comes to getting the kids ready. And I get mad when we are with other people and they don’t help out more or when they are inconsiderate. It can ruin my whole day.

He’s also right when he says I need it done a certain way or else I get frustrated. I get annoyed when things aren’t done my specific way. For example, I need my clothes hung up on white hangers only, then facing a certain way, and then they need to be organized from tank top to long sleeve according to the order of the rainbow. My shoes are also organized by color, type, and heel size. It’s kind of ridiculous how particular I am about my closet. However, if it wasn’t organized I would be very bothered by it. It wouldn’t sit well with me.

But it doesn’t end there. I organize my kids’ closet as well. Not as severe, but their clothes go from tanks to t-shirts, t-shirts to shirts with collars, collars to long sleeves, long sleeves to long sleeves with collars, to sweaters, jackets, and then coats. Tyson has quit hanging up my clothes and has never tried hanging up the kids’ clothes. I have even recently organized the kids toys by the type of toy they are. I go in a few times a day to fix them when they have put them away in the ‘wrong’ bin. I even thought about drawing a little picture of what goes in each bin, since Cash can’t read yet, so he knows which toys go in which bin. Now, I know it’s kind of ridiculous to do this seeing as how our kids are 3 1/2 and 1, but it makes me happy to look in their room and see the organized bins.

He’s also right when he says I get mad when things aren’t done in my timeline. If I ask him to clean the kitchen and he goes and takes a shower first I will lose my shit. I get so annoyed. A perfect example happened last week. I asked him to get a recipe for me so when I ran to the store I could get the things we needed for that along with the other items on my list instead of making two trips. He was doing some work from home and I got so mad that he couldn’t take 2 minutes out of his time to do what I was asking. That’s such a silly thing to be annoyed about. He would have gotten to it if I had given him some time, and is it the worst thing in the world to have to make two trips to the store, that is 5 minutes away from our house.

I definitely need to work on my attitude when things aren’t done my way or in the time line I would like. I’d like to think I’m pretty good at hiding it from friends and our extended family, but I can not hide my frustrations from my husband or my kids very well.

There are a few positives to my OCD. This blog is a good example of that. I have an excel worksheet for the entire year of 2017 set up and ready to go. It’s broken down into weeks, and then each day. It has cells for the focus (Truthful Tuesday, Whatever Wednesday, etc), the topic and/or title, whether it’s finished or not, and whether it’s posted or not. Which might be pretty severe for a simple little blog that has less than 100 followers, but it makes me happy to see that excel worksheet. Just like it makes me happy to see my closet and my boys’ closet.

I don’t know why I’m so anal about things. My mom and grandma are both very clean people but they aren’t crazy about organizing like I am. I definitely get the trait of hating clutter from my mom because she is the same way. She’s much better at keeping the clutter to a minimum, but I have two small boys at home to clutter up the house; or at least that’s my excuse. But my OCD tendencies are just a part of who I am and I think it would take a lot to change me and my habits.

To be honest I like being a little OCD and organized but it’s starting to show up in our eldest son, Cash. He needs things done a certain way or else he gets really frustrated. He likes to know what we are going to do and when we are going to do it. He asks every morning what our plans are for the day, and then he will keep clarifying them throughout the day. He likes to play his way or else he doesn’t want to play at all. I see so much of myself in him and I can’t help but feel bad that he acquired these habits from me. I can’t quite decide if they are good habits, bad habits, or something you can pick and choose from. Like I will be very organized when it comes to school/work but I will be more relaxed in my home…

4 thoughts on “Just a little bit of crazy

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