Can someone please tell me I am not alone in feeling that being a stay at home mom sucks?
I don’t know how to word this post correctly. I don’t want to sound ungrateful for my husband and his job. I don’t want to sound like I don’t love my children. And I don’t want to sound whiney. Damn though, I miss having adult interaction. I miss having an identity outside of my children. I miss working. I miss having friends of my own. I am jealous when my husband ‘has’ to go to a happy hour for work. I am jealous that he can go get coffee with a friend and have an actual conversation without being interrupted constantly or having to chase kids around the coffee shop. I’m jealous of anyone who gets to have adult conversation. I’m jealous of anyone who has a reason to get dressed in something other than LuluLemon and Fabletics clothes in the morning.
I feel like I am completely alone in this struggle (shit’s about to get real). I’ve lived in the Bay Area since Oct ’14 and have made a handful of friends, and it’s not for a lack of trying. Maybe I’m just picky about who I want in my ‘tribe’ or maybe I’m too pushy and like to drink too much. Who knows. What I do know is that I have had a hard time finding true friends here. Not having any real friends makes being a stay at home mom so much harder. And it’s something hard to explain to my husband. He’s never stayed home with our kids and felt completely shut out from the rest of the world. He’s never felt like he lost his identity to a small human. He’s never moved from his home town to live with someone and only have this other person’s friends. For a long time all of my friends were his friends. I hadn’t met anyone on my own that I could call a friend.
I am not one of those people that always wanted children. I decided to have Cash on a whim and because a bunch of my friends were having kids. Not a great reason, I know. But I am thankful I had him because he made me strive to be a better person. I don’t really like kids. I have a hard time being around other people’s kids for long periods of time. God forbid any of our friends with kids want to take a vacation together, I might just cry.
I am also not one of those people that has a lot of patience. Whether it’s for my kids, my husband, my friends, or myself. It’s just not there. I’ve been working on it, but it does not come easy for me.
So who else out there dislikes being a stay at home mom? Who else is so god damn bored at the park they could scream? Who else hates all the same cartoons our kids watch day after day? Who else is tired of play pretend with Power Rangers, Dino Trucks, Pokemon, Barbies, etc? Please tell me I am not alone in this struggle?